really?

right now, my question to God is "really?"

while i am grateful for my deep faith, there are no answers.
another tragedy has struck friends - the nearest and dearest friends.
it makes me wonder if this is the summer of grief for those close to me.
my eyes have shed more tears in the last 2 months than in the past 5 years.

yesterday, at a wedding, I was laughing & dancing one moment and then dealing with a wave of grief in the next moment. the mystery of sorrow and joy as companions in life made sense yesterday. there is often pockets of joy in the depths of sorrow. Henri Nouwen (a favourite author of mine) writes about this paradox in his book "Can you drink the Cup?"

i need to re-read that book.