The ultimate

I am looking for the ultimate organizer. 

I find in life there are so many restaurants to try, creative things to make, events to attend, meals to cook, music to listen to, movies to watch, thoughts to ponder, companies to research, social justice issues to discuss, items to buy, decor to drool over...basically so many things to do and I am afraid I will forget what I want to accomplish until it is too late (which is what is happening). 

I have so many lists, folders with information, scrawled notes but the problem is I have no central place for everything. Perhaps I need a Blackberry, iphone or personal organizer but then what do you do with the information you cut out of newspapers or magazines? Can you hook up a scanner to these tech things? Or could you just take a picture of the article?I love paper and the process of writing lists with pen and paper. The act of writing usually causes me to remember but there seems to be so many things written down now, that things are leaking from my memory bank. This memory loss will most likely increase as I get older so I need to find a solution and make it a habit now.

Or perhaps I should hire myself a personal assistant...a good looking 25 year old man (eye-candy)...oh, come on, since having a assistant is only a dream, I may as well make it as fantastic as possible. 

Random Thoughts (again)

It is only with the heart that one
can see rightly; what is essential is
invisible to the eye....Antoine De Saint-Exupery.

When I look at this potato, I could just see a mis-shapened piece of produce with moldy eyes but instead I see a heart. A heart beat up by life; a heart that adapted to things around it; a heart that could grow new life; a heart that could provide sustenance; a heart above all. Perhaps most things in life deserve a second look. 

The feminine - how divine

I am hardly the definition of a typical christian woman. In fact, often I do not even identify with the christian culture because it feels so opposite of what Jesus taught. Despite this, I find it difficult to explore some of the deep-rooted beliefs from my past. One such belief is women in christianity. I wrestled with it. I pondered it. During this past year, my understanding of the issue has become quite different than what I grew up believing. I do not profess to be a scholar of this theology but I feel my learnings need a voice.

For most of my christian faith, I was told women could not be leaders or teachers in the church. That was a man's role and a woman should not question this set-up. If she wanted to ask a question, she should ask her husband (which leads me to a whole other topic but I will resist temptation to follow that rant). Women could not  teach men over the age of 18(?!?). Women could be administrators of churches or counsel parishioners but their title dare not have the word pastor in it. 

What I could not figure out is why God blesses women with teaching abilities, the gift of prayer and prophesy, or leadership qualities yet churches continually silences women or places them in subordinate roles by saying the Bible says women should be silent. Isn't that looking a gift horse in the mouth? Thanks God but no thanks - we, as the church, choose not to use the gifts you gave these women because they are not equal to men. 

This line of inquiry started in earnest last year when my friend was "released" from her pastoral position at a church due to the church's new mission statement which included the tenet that women could not be in positions of leadership over men. She was doing incredible work and lives were changing yet apparently without the right body parts, it just wasn't the "right" fit for the church.  

I could write a thesis on what I have discovered about women in christianity and how the repression of the church has done a disservice but not this week. My year of exploring really came home this past Easter weekend with the fact that God used women to be the first to share the news that Jesus was alive. The Marys told this marvelous news to men - their co-disciples of Christ. Why would God do that if women were not as worthy, gifted or equal to men?

I could look at the Romans 16 passage where women are listed as deacons and apostles (Phoebe & Junia [NIV])  Or the fact women can pray and prophesy in church (I Cor 15). There is a whole slew of commentary about Paul addressing a particular issue at the time in Corinth when he is speaking of women being silent.

The great thing about exploring and questioning an aspect of faith is that you usually stumble across other marvelous things - I am learning about the feminine side of God. I never heard about this before and it truly resonates with me. Centuries of patriarchal society have silences, ignored and repressed the feminine aspects of God in order to magnify the masculine virtues. But did you know...the feminine side of God is in the name of the Holy Spirit ascribed to God in the Old Testament - Elohim. It happens to be the feminine plural of Elowah. So technically, we could translate the word to Goddess. How does that sit with your christian thought?

However, it is not to say that we should now only refer to God as a she or her because God is not a gender specific. It is interesting to see people's looks when I do refer to God with a feminine pronoun. They look at me like a heretic but in fact the Godhead encompasses both male and female genders. Doesn't that truly explain Genesis 1:27 - " God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them".

Knowing God has feminine attributes has allowed me to draw nearer in a more intimate way. After spending nearly 33 years interacting with a Father God, I look forward to exploring a Mother God.

It is Love

Show the Way

by David Wilcox

You say you see no hope, you say you see no reason

We should dream that the world would ever change

You’re saying love is foolish to believe

‘Cause there’ll always be some crazy with an Army or a knife

To wake you from your day dream, put the fear back in your life

Look, if someone wrote a play just to glorify

What’s stronger than hate, would they not arrange the stage

To look as if the hero came too late, he’s almost in defeat

It’s looking like the Evil side will win, so on the Edge

Of every seat, from the moment that the whole thing begins

It is….

Love that mixed the mortar

And it’s love who stacked these stones

And it’s love who made the stage here

Although it looks like we’re alone

In this scene set in shadows

Like the night is here to stay

There is evil cast around us

But it’s love that wrote this play…

Spring

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. ~Hal Borland

That quote gives me hope. I am just about sick of winter this year. It feels like as soon as we get a taste of spring, winter hits with a vengeance. As I am in training for a 1/2 marathon, I truly enjoy the spring days because I love running outside. It is so dis-heartening to wake up and see 10 cm of white snow. I do admit it is beautiful but I am done with it. The pictures below are on my balcony and I think they show how the weather goes warm and cold and warm and cold; melt and freeze, melt and freeze. Enough already!

Awake, thou wintry earth -

Fling off thy sadness!

Fair vernal flowers, laugh forth

Your ancient gladness!

~Thomas Blackburn, "An Easter Hymn"