life is messy

A few days ago, I ran into an old friend. I could sense she was carrying a huge weight on her soul. When I asked her how she was, she shared through tears that she keeps messing up her life and she can't seem to move on. She kept thinking she needed to become a better person or get her act together in order to move forward. It broke my heart that she was hating herself for the choices she made. She felt she was not good enough for the life she desired. She was unable to extend grace and forgiveness to herself.

I started thinking about the messiness of life and how so many beautiful things come from messes - when renovating a home, things must be torn down first; when an artist creates a vase, their hands must work the mucky clay; and it is with manure that the most beautiful gardens grow. In fact, I think most things of beauty come out of chaos and mess.

It is in the messiness of life that God does the best work. Life is rarely what we think it will be. We rarely know the answers when we are faced with a decision. But faith is knowing that when we do take a step into the unknown, we are not alone regardless of the outcomes or the messiness!

It seems we should not necessarily blame ourselves for the messes we find ourselves in sometimes. Life is messy. Blaming yourself is not from God but from the darkness that seeks to steal the joy and love that is rightfully yours. I truly believe that God is not waiting for us to have a clean and ordered life before blessing it or revealing our life's purpose. God is working in my mess right now. That gives me great hope because it is in life's disorder that God's grace and joy are so evident. 

Do you remember as children, we thrived on making messes, (just ask my mom). I often didn't worry about the mess because I was so excited about what I was creating. As adults we should not fear the mess but revel in it. Make mud pies or a sculpture from the muck you find yourself stuck in!

And remember above all else that we are loved by God because of our beautiful messiness! That is grace. 

I left my heart in San Francisco (not really)

I just returned from a small vacation down in the San Francisco area visiting my sister and her family. It was a lovely (yes, Nicole, I used that word just for you!) time with the niece and nephew...they are so fun and defiant all at the same time. We did lots of family things like playing in the backyard, reading books, playing games and goofing off. For a full update, check out Nicole's blog. Here are some of my pics from the trip:

a sunset on the ocean...is there anything more beautiful?

My sister and her new baby, Lucy

My sister and her daughter 

An elephant seal and my lovely niece and nephew

Do you see what I see? Cordelia in a lemon tree.

Use words not fists

I just returned from a wonderful visit with my sister, Nicole and her family in San Francisco. I have to admit, I do have a soft spot in my heart for my niece. Right now, she is learning about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and she really understands what he did for civil rights. While we were reading a book about Dr. King, she turned to me and said, "Aunty Sara, Dr. King did not use his fists, he used his words to change people." How true...what is it they say about words from the mouths of babes??!!