A few days ago, I ran into an old friend. I could sense she was carrying a huge weight on her soul. When I asked her how she was, she shared through tears that she keeps messing up her life and she can't seem to move on. She kept thinking she needed to become a better person or get her act together in order to move forward. It broke my heart that she was hating herself for the choices she made. She felt she was not good enough for the life she desired. She was unable to extend grace and forgiveness to herself.
I started thinking about the messiness of life and how so many beautiful things come from messes - when renovating a home, things must be torn down first; when an artist creates a vase, their hands must work the mucky clay; and it is with manure that the most beautiful gardens grow. In fact, I think most things of beauty come out of chaos and mess.
It is in the messiness of life that God does the best work. Life is rarely what we think it will be. We rarely know the answers when we are faced with a decision. But faith is knowing that when we do take a step into the unknown, we are not alone regardless of the outcomes or the messiness!
It seems we should not necessarily blame ourselves for the messes we find ourselves in sometimes. Life is messy. Blaming yourself is not from God but from the darkness that seeks to steal the joy and love that is rightfully yours. I truly believe that God is not waiting for us to have a clean and ordered life before blessing it or revealing our life's purpose. God is working in my mess right now. That gives me great hope because it is in life's disorder that God's grace and joy are so evident.
Do you remember as children, we thrived on making messes, (just ask my mom). I often didn't worry about the mess because I was so excited about what I was creating. As adults we should not fear the mess but revel in it. Make mud pies or a sculpture from the muck you find yourself stuck in!
And remember above all else that we are loved by God because of our beautiful messiness! That is grace.
3 comments:
thank you, just what i needed to hear.
thank you, just what i needed to hear.
Sara - you are so wise. Thank you for writing this. Where would we be without our messes? =)
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